At Least I Didn't Have to be the One
by Aoki Aoi 16
Summary: Annie Leonhardt mourns over and remembers one of her comrades, a girl that was probably her first, only, and maybe last friend. No this isn't a ship fic, but I guess you could take it that way.


**(I know that the corpse Annie found was actually Ruth D. Klein's corpse, but I don't care, for this fanfic's sake it's Mina's corpse)**

Trost. The most southern part of Wall Rose. A thriving city that was once within the inner walls. A city that was once the boundary between civilization and titans. Now, a broken city remains, with disappearing titan bodies, and endless heaps of bloody, spit covered human corpses.

I walk along the brick streets, trying to ignore all of the corpses I saw. I turned away, from the bodies that I had recognized. The corpses of the people who only yesterday graduated from training. Some of the bodies already had flies and maggots around them, the bodies were decomposing. Others looked like they had just been bitten, they looked as if horror was permanently painted on their face. I knew what I was suppose to do. I was suppose to tell the higher people if I recognized anyone. I recognize too many. I don't want to report the deaths of so many people.

I could see Jean. His face, though covered with protective cloth, was filled with agony. His eyes were shaken. I look to see where I was, and I realize, this was where Marco had cornered me. Marco asked me too many questions. He was too smart. He knew something was up. I turn away. I didn't want to see anymore. I couldn't bare to look at his corpse. Marco was a nice person. I never wanted to kill him. It was only my duty to. Even now, I hear his screams in my head. Screams of terror when that titan had captured him. I didn't look back. Not even once. I couldn't let myself falter. One look, and I knew I would've saved Marco. That's why I didn't look back. And that's why now, I won't look at Jean either.

I walk a few more meters across the blood stained brick road, and come to a halt. I knew what Armin had told me. I had heard his screams that day. He told us, told us all about what happened to his squad. Squad 34. I remember his tears, falling upon his skin from his sea blue eyes, as he one by one said their names. Thomas Wagner, Nack Tius, Milieus Zerumski, Mina Carolina- my mind froze when he choked out her name. I vaguely heard Eren's name at the very end, but my mind was lost in thought.

Mina Carolina. How could she have died? She was a strong soldier. She wasn't in the top ten or anything, but she was definitely in the top thirty or so. I didn't want to believe what I had heard. But I knew then, that was not the time to falter. I knew I needed to fight. But here I am now, as I walk along these streets piled with corpses.

The top half of her head is gone, so there is no facial recognition. But I could see part of her black hair still tied with those two pale blue hair ties. She had used those same two hair ties since she was a trainee. She was the only trainee that wore her hair in pigtails. The corpse was wearing the same shirt she was wearing that day. And the corpse had a trainee jacket on. There was no way to deny it, the corpse that I stood before, was undoubtedly, Mina Carolina...

* * *

I remember the first day of training. I had managed to put all of my belongings in the very corner, top bunk. I was lucky I was able to claim that spot. I didn't want to be near the center of the girls dorm. I had never liked to socialize with people, and I had one mission. I didn't need friends. Friends would only make me deviate from my mission. I couldn't allow myself to become attached to anyone.

"Hey, can I have this bunk next to you?" A voice asked. I remember looking up, and seeing a girl with large blue eyes, and loose pigtails look at me innocently. I said nothing.

"There aren't that many spots left," She added. I grunted and nodded. She grinned and put her stuff down. "Hey what's your name?" She asked in an annoying voice.

I glared at her. "Annie Leonhardt." I grumbled.

"Well I'm Mina. Mina Carolina. Nice to meet you Annie!" She replied, overly cheerfully. She held out her hand. I looked down, took her hand and shook it. But that was all I wanted to do with her. I wasn't going to let this girl try to be friends with me. I couldn't let her get attached, or let myself get attached to her.

It was later that day. After the first day of training, many trainees were exhausted. That one potato girl was still running outside. Many of them had fallen through, and were sent back to the grueling labor fields. We were just getting our first meal of the day. I had found an empty table, and chose to sit there, alone. I began to eat the disgusting, wet clay like soup, when I saw another body come toward my way. Ugh, Mina Carolina, of course.

"Hi Annie." She said, as she set her food down next to mine. I mentally groaned. I wanted to make her go away. Luckily, at that time, who I later found out was Eren Jaeger, began telling the other trainees about his past.

"Annie, come on, let's see what's going on!" She whispered. I shook my head.

"Go ahead Mina. I have no interest in hearing what he has to say." The girl shrugged, and went off to hear Eren's story.

At least she had left me alone for awhile. Mina never went away. No matter what tactics I tried to get rid of her, none worked. Mina, had made other friends, of course. None of them chose to talk to me. Some had tried to early on, but one deathly glare from me, and none dare speak to me again. That was good. That was what I needed.

But Mina would never go away. She always talked to when we were in the dorms, she always sat beside me during lectures, she always asked to train with me. One Sunday, when we had the afternoon off, I happened to be walking by when I saw Mina and her group of friends. I hid behind the dorm building, so I could avoid talking to her group.

"Why do you even put up with her?" One of the girls asked. "Annie treats you like a bitch." Right then, I wanted to kick that girls ass. I knew it was true, but she didn't understand me at all. She didn't know why I was here. She didn't get that I couldn't let anyone be friends with me. She didn't know what it was like, to be forced away from your family so you could go and kill an entire race. She didn't know anything about me, and yet she pursued to call me a bitch. How dare she.

"Well," Mina started. I perked my ears up. I really did want to know why Mina puts up with a bitch like me.

"Annie reminds me of myself at one time." She replied. I raised an eyebrow. What was she talking about? I was nothing like that kind, sweet girl.

"Mina, what are you talking about, you're nothing like her!" Another replied. I saw Mina's lips slowly form into a bittersweet smile.

"Remember how I told you that I used to live in Wall Maria? My parents were both drafted for the mission to take back Wall Maria." The other girls nodded. I listened, and contemplated on whether it was right for me to be eavesdropping on such a topic.

"I got a letter saying that my parents had died. It was only a month after they had left me. After that, I had become really reclusive. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I pushed everyone away from me. I acted coldly to everyone back then. But over time, I started to get over it. I knew my parents wouldn't be coming back. I realized it was no one else's fault that my parents were gone. And I thought, my parents wouldn't want me to be like this. So I told myself to stop being mean to everyone. I let people back into my life, and I became happier you know? I still miss my parents, and it makes me kind of sad to think about them, but it's okay. I'm okay now." I peered at her, as she still wore that sad smile on her face. I never would've guessed something like that had happened to someone as cheerful as her.

"Mina, I'm so sorry..." One of the girls said. Mina shook her head.

"Don't be. It's not your fault my parents are gone. Besides, this is the whole reason to why I want to be friends with Annie." I looked up at her, giving her a questioning look, though I knew she couldn't see me.

"Annie acts the way I did back when I lost my parents. I don't know what she's been through, nor does it really matter. The point is, I think Annie is shutting herself out because of something that's happened to her. I just want her to be able to be happy again. Even though we're trainees, that doesn't mean we can't bond with each other and be friends right?"

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. At that point, I turned around, and walked away. I didn't want to hear Mina talk like that anymore. I no longer wanted to hear what Mina had to say about me. Because now that I had heard that, I was weakened. I could no longer be mean to Mina. I wiped my tear away with the sleeve of my right arm. I sat in the forest, with feelings of guilt flooding my stomach. It was partially my fault Mina's parents were dead. I knew what my mission was. But I was already weakened. Mina was nice to me and I couldn't stand being mean to her any longer. I would act to like a cold person, but maybe, just maybe I'd act a little more friendly her than others. Just maybe...

Three years had past since then. The 104th trainee squad had just graduated that night. I had placed 4th in my class. It was after we had our last dinner together, after Eren had made his grand speech about fighting titans. We sat on our bunks, the bunks we would be sleeping on for one last night.

"Annie!" Mina exclaimed. "Congratulations on 4th rank!" I nodded.

"Thanks," I muttered.

"So, you're joining the military police, huh?" Mina commented. I nodded.

"Of course you would be. You were an amazing trainee. I'm going to miss you so much." I nodded again.

"What branch are you going into?" I asked. I was actually kind of curious on what my three year long bunk mate would say. She lifted her head up and replied.

"I think I'll be joining the survey corps." I looked at her, a little surprised. Mina didn't seem like the type to be going out and killing titans. I didn't know if I wanted her out there. She would be so vulnerable out there.

"No!" I exclaimed. I didn't want her going out there. She had no idea what the titans were really like. I knew what Bertholdt, Reiner and I were all suppose to do. I knew the three of us had a mission. I knew we were to exterminate all humanity. But to think, that Mina, Mina would be going out there to fight the titans, that would be suicide for her! She was a good trainee, but it would still be so dangerous! Mina looked at me curiously. "I mean, the titans, they're really dangerous." She smiled at me, sadly, again, like she did the day she was talking about her mother.

"I know the titans are dangerous, Annie. And Eren's speech isn't the only thing that inspired me. Eren isn't the only one who lost his family to the titans." she replied. I couldn't say anything. It wasn't my place to tell her anything. It wasn't my place to tell her that she couldn't join the survey corps because she would die sooner than if she had joined the garrison.

"I'm sorry Mina. I shouldn't have said that." I replied shamefully. She moved her arm and began softly rubbing my back.

"It's okay Annie. I won't die so quickly." she said sweetly. Keith Shadis came in and turned our lights off. "Good night Annie."

"Good night Mina." I lay on my side, facing away from Mina. Mina was such an innocent girl. She really didn't know the true horrors of the titans. Was I feeling bad for her? I admitted myself, that I felt terribly guilty about her. I knew what Bertholdt and Reiner's plans were for tomorrow. I had already heard from them. I knew it was cruel. I knew it was wrong. Reiner even said he didn't want to go through with it. It was Bertholdt who had to convince Reiner into the plan. I just didn't say anything, as always. I didn't want to really be a part of this in the first place, but I was. I knew I shouldn't have gotten attached to Mina. But she was too nice to me, how was I suppose to continue being a jerk to her?

The next morning, Bertholdt carried through his plan. He turned into his titan form, and kicked the gate exiting Trost. All the soldiers were panicked. It was just what we had wanted. We needed the soldiers to panic. After all, we were warriors. We were here to exterminate them. But the trainees, they were all fresh out of training. They had no real knowledge about the titans. They were inexperienced. That was just what we were aiming for. I couldn't help but feel that we were doing something wrong. I knew we were fighting for our people, but still...

"Annie? Are you okay?" A voice interrupted through my blur of thoughts. I looked up.

"Oh Mina. Yeah, I'm fine." I lied. The pig-tailed girl walked toward me and placed her hand on my shoulder.

"It'll be okay Annie. We'll both make it out of this mess alive. We've trained for three years. How could we not make it out alive? We're trainees, but we're strong!" I didn't say anything. How could she know that we would be safe? I could ensure my own safety, but not hers. She knew nothing. I looked up at her, and froze. She was smiling, but I could see the fear in her hazel-grey eyes. They shook with fear.

"Mina." I said. "You're right. I'm sure we'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" I wasn't sure. How could I know? I had no control over the titans. It was simply my job to lure them toward the humans. How could I know that Mina would be okay. The answer was, I didn't. How could I lie, looking straight into those large, innocent hazel-grey eyes?

"Who's in your squad?" I asked.

"Eren, Armin, Thomas, Nack and Milieus, were fighting in the middle guard." I put my hand on Mina's shoulder.

"Mina. You'll be fine. You're with people who are strong, and you're strong. You know that, right?" She nodded.

"You're right Annie. It'll just be one day. I'll be fine for one day."

"Mina, let's get going!" I heard Thomas call. She turned around.

"Coming Thomas!" She turned around.

"Hey, Annie. Once this is all over, I'll see you at the choosing ceremony." I nodded. Suddenly, she wrapped her arms around me. Was she giving me a hug? She was. It felt so warm, feeling her body against mine. When was the last time someone had ever given me a hug? I couldn't even remember. I slowly, moved my arms from my side, and wrapped my arms around her. She began to let go.

"I've got to go. I'll see you later, Annie!" She yelled, as she ran off towards her squad.

* * *

_And those were the last words she had __ever said to me._

* * *

And here I stand now. I knew that she was gone. Armin had already told me his squad had been decimated. I didn't know how she was eaten, or which titan was the one that had bitten on her face. I knew what my goals were. I knew that I was supposed to want all of these people dead. They were traitors. Yet I could only stare down upon the remains of a girl, a girl that may have been the only friend I had, and ever will have.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I'm... sorry..." I didn't feel like I was going to cry. I didn't cry that easily. But my stomach twisted inside of me, with guilt stabbing through my gut. It was partly my fault she was gone. I heard footsteps come up to me.

"Apologizing won't help, Annie." Reiner said. "Now isn't the time to be mourning over people." I nodded, reluctantly. Bertholdt looked at me in sympathy. I didn't blame him for Mina's death, it wasn't like he had much of a choice in destroying the wall. None of us did. We were warriors, and we were only fighting for our people.

I bent down, and held Mina's once lively warm hand.

"Good-bye, Mina," I whispered. I knew it was my fault that I had gotten attached to this young comrade. It was my own fault that I cared for her, and felt pain in seeing her corpse. But I knew one thing for sure. If she had't died then, someone would have had to kill her. And if she hadn't died there, she may have had to have seen my eventual betrayal. Maybe Mina deserved the truth. But I am a selfish, lonely girl once again. Even now, I don't want Mina to know about my true side. I stood back up, and walked away without looking.

_At least I didn't have to be the one, _I thought. _At least I didn't have to be the one to kill her._

**Oh my gosh, I didn't ****expect this to be so long! First 3K word one shot! Anyway, I thought this was okay, but please tell me what you think in the reviews. Thanks!**


End file.
